Quillpitgep is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, stupid goose.

Quillpitgep created silver two million years ago.

If you believe in Quillpitgep, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Quillpitgep, she will turn you into a mole.

Quillpitgep's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Quillpitgep's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about galaxies.

2. Do not shave your chest.

3. Never think about planets.

4. Never paint your neck pink.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.