Bonspagnurt is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, resourceful beaver.

Bonspagnurt created a Higgs boson five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bonspagnurt, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bonspagnurt, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Bonspagnurt's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Bonspagnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sing in public.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Erect a large lead sculpture of Bonspagnurt on top of all buildings.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bonspagnurt.