Kantapbig is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, unthinking rhinoceros.

Kantapbig created the Virgo Supercluster four billion years ago.

If you believe in Kantapbig, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Kantapbig, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Kantapbig's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Kantapbig's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat cherries.

2. Feed all hungry otters.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kantapbig.

5. Kantapbig must be the most important thing in your life.