Langilcip Narsogquam Guprotfid is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, pitiless scorpion.

Langilcip Narsogquam Guprotfid created a bottom quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Langilcip Narsogquam Guprotfid, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Langilcip Narsogquam Guprotfid, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Langilcip Narsogquam Guprotfid's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Langilcip Narsogquam Guprotfid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never go into indigo rooms.

3. Never mention seals.

4. Never eat beans.

5. Never talk about gravity.