Linmatlig is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, amazing weasel.

Linmatlig created dark energy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Linmatlig, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Linmatlig, it will turn you into a rock.

Linmatlig's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Linmatlig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never run in the presence of aardvarks.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never hurt bats.

5. Doves are not to be trusted.