Cetbepvonkfentipzimgab is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, wise ferret.

Cetbepvonkfentipzimgab created tapeworms three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cetbepvonkfentipzimgab, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cetbepvonkfentipzimgab, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Cetbepvonkfentipzimgab's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Cetbepvonkfentipzimgab's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at comets.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Always wear cyan.