Tonk is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, quiet fox.

Tonk created a strange quark four years ago.

If you believe in Tonk, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tonk, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Tonk's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Tonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never mention aardvarks.

3. Always look after injured tapirs.

4. Never wear magenta skirts.

5. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Tonk on top of all buildings.