Bitxuclik is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, blissful swan.

Bitxuclik created an up quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitxuclik, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bitxuclik, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Bitxuclik's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Bitxuclik's Holy Commandments

1. Always help tortoises.

2. Never wear jumpers.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never eat figs.

5. Do not jump in public.