Queegbeggepbedkemnig is a god.

It takes the form of a small, pitiless elephant.

Queegbeggepbedkemnig created a down quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Queegbeggepbedkemnig, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Queegbeggepbedkemnig, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Queegbeggepbedkemnig's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Queegbeggepbedkemnig's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

2. Always help grasshopers.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. You must pray to Queegbeggepbedkemnig eight times a day.

5. Never go into orange rooms.