Funkanpad is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, sapient raccoon.

Funkanpad created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Funkanpad, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Funkanpad, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Funkanpad's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Funkanpad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never think ill of sick horses.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never talk about cats.

5. Do not speak about onions.