Stafflattab is a god.

He takes the form of a large, emotional fly.

Stafflattab created tapeworms seven million years ago.

If you believe in Stafflattab, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Stafflattab, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Stafflattab's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Stafflattab's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured foxes.

2. Hide from turquoise dogs for they are unholy.

3. Do not skip in public.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.