Stikquafdub is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, quiet gorilla.

Stikquafdub created dark matter three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stikquafdub, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Stikquafdub, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Stikquafdub's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Stikquafdub's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your back cyan.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always obey Stikquafdub's priests.

4. Do not speak about bread.

5. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.