Dinloophenkarflam is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, unselfish clam.

Dinloophenkarflam created the planet Jupiter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Dinloophenkarflam, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dinloophenkarflam, she will strike you with lightening.

Dinloophenkarflam's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Dinloophenkarflam's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never jump in holy places.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not skip in public.

5. Never wear fawn coats.