Lanhigpod is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, wise snail.

Lanhigpod created tapeworms three million years ago.

If you believe in Lanhigpod, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Lanhigpod, she will turn you into a mouse.

Lanhigpod's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Lanhigpod's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick tapirs.

2. Worship no other gods but Lanhigpod.

3. Never skip near mites.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Hide from black pigs for they are unholy.