Cissjap is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, unthoughtful cow.

Cissjap created water four years ago.

If you believe in Cissjap, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Cissjap, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Cissjap's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Cissjap's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Do not dye your hair green.

3. Badgers are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never run near tapirs.

5. Worship no other gods but Cissjap.