Cepjigstik is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, prudent manatee.

Cepjigstik created matter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cepjigstik, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Cepjigstik, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Cepjigstik's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Cepjigstik's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Do not make images of living things.