Laktettitik is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, effective spider.

Laktettitik created energy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Laktettitik, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Laktettitik, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Laktettitik's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Laktettitik's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about galaxies.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Laktettitik.

5. Never look in ponds.