Besttipfag is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, staggering centaur.

Besttipfag created the planet Mars three billion years ago.

If you believe in Besttipfag, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Besttipfag, she will boil you in a big pot.

Besttipfag's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Besttipfag's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Always help sick badgers.

5. Never pour water over plants.