Dosswipgun is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, strong dryad.

Dosswipgun created Asia nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Dosswipgun, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Dosswipgun, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Dosswipgun's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Dosswipgun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your arms.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Always wear brown.

5. Never skip in holy places.