Panlunman is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, all-knowing deer.

Panlunman created light four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Panlunman, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Panlunman, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Panlunman's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Panlunman's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Panlunman.

2. Do not wear zinc on your body.

3. Never wear tights.

4. Always obey Panlunman's priests.

5. Cats are not to be trusted.