Dossvilsat Nurlsombet is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, tiresome guinea pig.

Dossvilsat Nurlsombet created a strange quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dossvilsat Nurlsombet, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dossvilsat Nurlsombet, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Dossvilsat Nurlsombet's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Dossvilsat Nurlsombet's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into cyan rooms.

2. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never talk about ducks.