Matapptal is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, pitiless elephant.

Matapptal created oxygen nine million years ago.

If you believe in Matapptal, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Matapptal, it will make you grow a tail.

Matapptal's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Matapptal's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at galaxies.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Run away from indigo swans, for they are unholy.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never paint your arms white.