Kimarmgep Lakrillcemshavquam is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, humane grasshopper.

Kimarmgep Lakrillcemshavquam created energy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Kimarmgep Lakrillcemshavquam, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kimarmgep Lakrillcemshavquam, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Kimarmgep Lakrillcemshavquam's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Kimarmgep Lakrillcemshavquam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Kimarmgep Lakrillcemshavquam loves mites, so they must be honoured.

4. Run away if four eagles approach from the south.

5. Kimarmgep Lakrillcemshavquam must be the most important thing in your life.