Arffitsidpakdudjenpak is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, happy faun.

Arffitsidpakdudjenpak created Mount Everest four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arffitsidpakdudjenpak, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Arffitsidpakdudjenpak, he will curse you with boils.

Arffitsidpakdudjenpak's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Arffitsidpakdudjenpak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Arffitsidpakdudjenpak's name in vain.

2. Never talk about grasshopers.

3. Never paint your neck magenta.

4. Never look at comets.

5. Do not drink water in brown rooms.