Flatkadarn is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, able mouse.

Flatkadarn created a charm quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flatkadarn, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Flatkadarn, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Flatkadarn's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Flatkadarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about birds.

2. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

3. Do not sing in public.

4. Always obey Flatkadarn's priests.

5. Manatees are not to be trusted.