Tipgenbessxuck is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, blissful lobster.

Tipgenbessxuck created parasitic wasps three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tipgenbessxuck, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tipgenbessxuck, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Tipgenbessxuck's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Tipgenbessxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Tipgenbessxuck loves capybaras, so they must be respected.

2. Always help goats.

3. Tipgenbessxuck loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not wear orange clothing.

5. Never paint your chest magenta.