Largtenwad is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, omniscient spider.

Largtenwad created the planet Mars five million years ago.

If you believe in Largtenwad, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Largtenwad, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Largtenwad's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Largtenwad's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never go into cyan rooms.

5. You must never eat rice.