Orttapkad is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, two-faced sheep.

Orttapkad created life two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Orttapkad, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Orttapkad, she will be very unhappy.

Orttapkad's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Orttapkad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick mites.

2. Never eat melons.

3. Worship no other gods but Orttapkad.

4. Never mention dogs.

5. Retreat if four pigs approach from the east.