Sigcitrow is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, compassionate goat.

Sigcitrow created time and space six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sigcitrow, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Sigcitrow, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Sigcitrow's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Sigcitrow's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of shrews.

2. Never laugh in holy places.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Sigcitrow loves nematodes, so they must be honoured.

5. Always make sure there are no whales in a building before entering it.