Tombonkyarl is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, deceitful jellyfish.

Tombonkyarl created the planet Venus two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tombonkyarl, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tombonkyarl, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Tombonkyarl's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Tombonkyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if eight doves approach from the east.

2. Retreat if four swans approach from the north.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

5. Do not chop down trees.
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