Larnkenzog is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, sage snake.

Larnkenzog created the Sun two years ago.

If you believe in Larnkenzog, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Larnkenzog, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Larnkenzog's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Larnkenzog's Holy Commandments

1. Put Larnkenzog first in all things.

2. Never wear tights.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not bounce in public.

5. Do not commit murder.