Fumcetbam is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, sage eagle.

Fumcetbam created humanity nine million years ago.

If you believe in Fumcetbam, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Fumcetbam, he will refuse to believe in you.

Fumcetbam's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Fumcetbam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always look after injured bats.

3. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Fumcetbam on top of all buildings.

4. Never jump in the presence of birds.

5. Always stare at clouds.