Basswapsom is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, weak mink.

Basswapsom created the Small Magellanic Cloud three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Basswapsom, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Basswapsom, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Basswapsom's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Basswapsom's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Basswapsom's priests.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never talk about frogs.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Put Basswapsom first in all things.