Garxucsinab is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, thoughtless crane.

Garxucsinab created dark matter four million years ago.

If you believe in Garxucsinab, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Garxucsinab, it will turn you into a sheep.

Garxucsinab's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Garxucsinab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Worship no other gods but Garxucsinab.