Lamsagdamart is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, temperamental whale.

Lamsagdamart created a bottom quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Lamsagdamart, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Lamsagdamart, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Lamsagdamart's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Lamsagdamart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not laugh in public.

3. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never wear skirts.