Getmif is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, irritating lion.

Getmif created an up quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Getmif, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Getmif, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Getmif's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Getmif's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat onions.

2. Always wear mauve.

3. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

4. Always treat hamsters with great respect.

5. Always look after injured whales.