Yamlinmon is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, boastful seal.

Yamlinmon created bats two billion years ago.

If you believe in Yamlinmon, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Yamlinmon, she will cry a lot.

Yamlinmon's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Yamlinmon's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if six tortoises approach from the east.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

3. Never laugh near squirrels.

4. Never wear white shoes.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.