Safapprat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, omnipotent narwhal.

Safapprat created a strange quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Safapprat, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Safapprat, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Safapprat's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Safapprat's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always help sick horses.

3. Never feed garlic to moths while wearing orange coats.

4. Never wear trousers.

5. Never sit in holy places.