Midkanyik is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, caring wren.

Midkanyik created bats eight million years ago.

If you believe in Midkanyik, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Midkanyik, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Midkanyik's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Midkanyik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Always help turtles in need.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Worship no other gods but Midkanyik.

5. You must pray to Midkanyik four times a day.