Ditgidmig Dinzogdag is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, egotistical bear.

Ditgidmig Dinzogdag created dark matter four million years ago.

If you believe in Ditgidmig Dinzogdag, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Ditgidmig Dinzogdag, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Ditgidmig Dinzogdag's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Ditgidmig Dinzogdag's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never wear turquoise stockings.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Ditgidmig Dinzogdag.

5. Retreat if seven sharks approach from the north.