Wegmapgar is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, duplicitous whale.

Wegmapgar created the Sun eight million years ago.

If you believe in Wegmapgar, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Wegmapgar, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Wegmapgar's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Wegmapgar's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from purple sharks for they are unholy.

2. Badgers are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never paint your back white.

5. Run away from black mites, for they are unholy.