Hapdagbog Goftin Ominhunhapflagdodhunbig is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, weak lobster.

Hapdagbog Goftin Ominhunhapflagdodhunbig created the planet Saturn five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hapdagbog Goftin Ominhunhapflagdodhunbig, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Hapdagbog Goftin Ominhunhapflagdodhunbig, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Hapdagbog Goftin Ominhunhapflagdodhunbig's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Hapdagbog Goftin Ominhunhapflagdodhunbig's Holy Commandments

1. Always help gulls.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Never run in holy places.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.