Zakartvon is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, conceited hummingbird.

Zakartvon created a bottom quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Zakartvon, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Zakartvon, she will turn you into a rat.

Zakartvon's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Zakartvon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Retreat if seven goats approach from the east.

3. Nematodes are not to be trusted.

4. You must pray to Zakartvon three times a day.

5. Never think about asteroids.