Ditragjab is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, quiet mouse.

Ditragjab created the planet Jupiter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ditragjab, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Ditragjab, she will turn you into a goat.

Ditragjab's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Ditragjab's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce near nematodes.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Worship no other gods but Ditragjab.

5. Always take life seriously.