Yatmobsis is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, ruthless swan.

Yatmobsis created a photon two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yatmobsis, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Yatmobsis, it will laugh at you.

Yatmobsis' most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Yatmobsis' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never talk about nematodes.

5. You must pray to Yatmobsis seven times a day.