Botkintaf is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, selfish squirrel.

Botkintaf created the Sun eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Botkintaf, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Botkintaf, it will be very sad.

Botkintaf's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Botkintaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about swans.

2. Never sing in the presence of rats.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Botkintaf.

4. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.

5. Run away if five otters approach from the north.