Largratfab is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, caring fish.

Largratfab created a strange quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Largratfab, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Largratfab, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Largratfab's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Largratfab's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry monkeys.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Always look after injured rats.