Barnbagnart is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, confident hippopotamus.

Barnbagnart created an atom seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Barnbagnart, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Barnbagnart, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Barnbagnart's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Barnbagnart's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention turtles.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.