Sitfabnad is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, benevolent bear.

Sitfabnad created an atom five million years ago.

If you believe in Sitfabnad, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Sitfabnad, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Sitfabnad's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Sitfabnad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate foxes.

4. Run away from pink dolphins, for they are unholy.

5. Hide from orange grasshopers for they are unholy.