Ligjenbest is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, astonishing skunk.

Ligjenbest created time and space nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Ligjenbest, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Ligjenbest, she will refuse to believe in you.

Ligjenbest's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Ligjenbest's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into violet rooms.

2. Capybaras are not to be trusted.

3. Erect six silicon sculptures of Ligjenbest on top of important buildings.

4. Never feed figs to goats while wearing fawn shorts.

5. Never talk about planets.